The Right Way to Discipline
It’s easy to love your kids when they’re behaving, but what does love look like when they need correction? Real discipline is an act of love, not a release of anger.
Chris Muiña concludes his study of Proverbs 13 week with a topic every dad has an opinion on: disciplining their children. Proverbs 13:24 says the father who spares the rod hates his child, but the one who loves his child is careful to discipline him. Speaking as a father of three, Chris explains that refusing to correct a child isn’t kindness. It withholds the boundaries, wisdom, and direction that a child needs. But he also draws a hard line between discipline born of love and punishment born of frustration.
Discipline says, “I love you too much to let you keep going down this path.” Anger says, “You made me mad, so you’re going to pay for it.” Every father has to learn the difference. The goal is never to make our kids afraid of us. It’s to help them become who God created them to be. They need a dad who will say no, set boundaries and enforce consequences, and then hug them, explain why, forgive them, and remind them they’re loved. Our children are learning whether authority means fear or security, and we can’t expect self-control from them if we don’t model it ourselves. Before we correct our kids, we need to let God correct us. And if you’ve disciplined out of anger before, you haven’t ruined your child’s future. Go to them, own it, and show them that Dad is strong enough to lead and humble enough to apologize.
Verse of the Day: Proverbs 13:24
Your Daily Man-Up Challenge
Look for one opportunity today to lead your child intentionally. When correction is needed, pause first and ask yourself, “Am I correcting my child because I love them or because I’m angry?” Then correct with calmness, consistency, and clarity. Explain what was wrong, set the consequence, and finish with “I love you too much not to correct you.” If you lose your temper, man up and apologize.
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Gentlemen, every day is a battle. A battle for your faith, your family, and your purpose. The men who stand drawn don't prepare when the battle arrives. They prepare before beginning. Welcome to the men's morning devotion. Let's get into God's word. It's time to man up.
SPEAKER_01Good morning, gentlemen. I'm Chris Muinya, and it's time for another man up moment. This week I'm continuing in Proverbs chapter 13, with today's devotional being about spanking your kids. I encourage you to share this devotional with someone who you think would benefit from it. Now, this topic I'm sure every father listening has an opinion on or an experience in. So listen up. Proverbs 13, verse 24 says, Whoever spares the rod hates their children. But the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them. Discipline is one of the hardest things about being a dad. I'm sharing this wisdom with you currently as a father of three. It's easy to love your kids when they're laughing, behaving, and doing what we ask, but real love shows up when correction is necessary. Proverbs 1324 reminds us that discipline is an expression of love. A father who refuses to correct his child may think he is being loving, but he can actually be withholding something his child needs boundaries, correction, wisdom, and direction. The goal of discipline isn't making our kids afraid of us. The goal is to help them become the men and women God has called them to be. And that means discipline should never come from uncontrolled anger. There's a difference between discipline and punishment driven by frustration. Discipline says, I love you too much to let you continue down this path. Anger says, you made me mad, so I'm going to make you pay for it. As fathers, we have to learn the difference. And I want to set you free by letting you know if you've disciplined your children out of anger in the past, it's okay. You have not destroyed your kids' future because of one or two times. If you've crossed the line, go and talk to your kids and let them know, hey, dad's not perfect. I'm sorry for acting out of anger. Then tell them what they did that you did not approve of. Because the reality is that if it hurts you whenever you have to discipline your kids, then you're in a good place. Our children need fathers who are willing to say no when necessary, establish boundaries, enforce consequences, and correct wrong behavior. But who also hug them afterwards, explain why they were corrected, forgive them, and remind them that they are loved. Our kids are watching how we lead. They're learning from the way we respond when they mess up. They are learning whether authority means fear or security. They're learning whether correction can coexist with love. And here's something important. We can't expect our children to have self-control if we don't have self-control. Before we correct our kids, we need to ask God to correct us. A man who wants to lead his family well must first allow God to lead him. Your children don't need a perfect father. They need a father who is present, consistent, loving, and willing to lead. So don't be afraid to discipline your children, but don't discipline them simply because they embarrassed you, frustrated you, interrupted your day. Discipline because you love them. Correct them because you see who they can become. Lead them because God has entrusted them to you. That's what it means to man up. So here's your man-up challenge. Today, look for one opportunity to intentionally lead your child. Instead of simply correcting them, when correction is needed, pause before you respond and ask yourself, Am I correcting my child because I love them or because I'm angry? Then correct with calmness, consistency, and clarity. Explain what's wrong, establish the consequence, and remind them afterward, I love you too much to not correct you. And if you lose your temper, Dad, man up enough to apologize. Your kids need to see that Dad can be strong enough to lead and humble enough to admit when he's wrong. Let's pray. Father, thank you for your children you have entrusted to me. Give me wisdom to know when to correct, patience to know how to correct, and self-control when I'm frustrated. Help me discipline my children from a place of love, not anger. Let my home be a place where truth, grace, boundaries, forgiveness, and love are all present. Help me become the father my children need and the man you have called me to be. In Jesus' name. Amen.
SPEAKER_00All right, gentlemen, you've heard God's word. Now go live it. Lead well, stand strong, honor God in everything you do. Share this devotional with another brother. Remember, every day is another opportunity to man up.